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Dreams

June 12, 2010

What comes to mind if I tell you to “Rethink the Dream”?  We know that as we go through life we make certain plans, paths, dreams.  Then something happens.  Life happens.  To quote John Lennon, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”  So you cruise along your merry way and get blindsided by life.  Now what?  What do you do next?  You Rethink the Dream.  A simple phrase that captures those defining moments where you sink or swim.  You choose how to react to your carefully laid plans being changed—often without your consent.  Do you form a new plan or do you lay down in defeat?  Do you move forward or stay stagnant?  A close friend introduced me to this concept, which put into three simple words those circumstances that can rock your world.

 

I had a life-changing moment a few years back.  It began with five small words: I’m in love with Tami.  They seem insignificant, except they were spoken by my husband and my name isn’t Tami.  I was five months pregnant with our second child, we had just bought our (my) dream house, and life was going just the way I planned.  Too bad no one told my husband about my plan. 

 

Of course before you hate him, let’s look at what I said there—MY plan.  It really wasn’t a plan we’d formed together, it was a vision I’d had for my life since I was very little.  I wanted the husband, the house full of children, two cars, picket fence—ok, not the fence.  I hate fences.  But you get the picture. I knew from a young age what I wanted my life to look like.  I had my dream.  When I met a man who seemed to fit that dream, it was just part of the plan.  Did I ever check to see if his dreams meshed with mine?  I honestly can’t remember.  I don’t believe I did.  Now, does that mean I think he was justified in his actions?  Hell no.  We made vows.  We made commitments.  He broke them.  That was his choice.  My choice was what to do next.

 

For me, next was easy.  I learned how to live.  How to be.  I came to the realization that I had never actually spent any time just being comfortable with who and what I am.  I had spent my entire life working towards my dream, without actually deciding if that dream even was still what I really wanted.  Now was the time.  I was forced to reexamine who I was, and I discovered I was actually a pretty neat person.  I began to pursue the things that mattered to me—being a great mother, spending time with my parents, writing.  I found a sense of self I’d never known before, and with it the realization that I didn’t have to have one specific goal—one defined dream.  My life can be about a million different dreams that forever evolve.  Living true to that is my plan now.  Sharing it with the world is today’s dream.

 

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