Today I have a first date. Now in the past I’ve commented on first dates with – shall we say a little muted enthusiasm. Ok, fine, I’m not usually a fan. They tend to be awkward and uncomfortable. Especially because so many of my first dates stem from an on-line dating website. It’s just weird. It’s no wonder I’ve started avoiding those places like the plague.
This one, however, is different. Met on-line again, however not on a dating website. Actually on a fitness website. I haven’t written on this subject yet (probably should) but I’m in the middle of a full on life-style redevelopment. I’m down 23 pounds as of this morning (WOO HOO!) and have no plans to stop anytime soon. (And what post would be complete without a shout-out to Kat and Becca, who are journeying with me, as well as my friend Teresa who inspired me to start this go round…You ladies ROCK!)
Wow, that was a monumental digression…bad even for me. Where was I? Oh, right, first date. Fitness website. Anyhoo, we became pals on this site months ago but just started chatting in the last couple of weeks. It’s been nice. Very nice. And today we are going out for the first time. Meeting in person for the first time. And I am excited – in a lot of ways, for the first time.
There’s something that feels different this go around. I think that despite the fact that we met on-line, the fact that it wasn’t in a realm of date-hunting has something to do with it. That and I’m still trying to live by my rule of No Rules, so I’m going with the flow. But it got me to thinking about first dates before the world of on-line dating. Granted, it’s been a while, but my memory isn’t completely shot yet.
Back in the day, when I met someone and got asked out, I began to think and hope and wish. Because you generally didn’t have a full biography on the person, there was so much to learn and discover. So many questions. But they boiled down to one for me – Would this be “the one”? It’s not that I’m a stalker (well, I am, but that’s not relevant here). It’s that every new beginning is a new opportunity. A new possibility. You literally never know when you might be going out with the love of your life for the first time. You never know if this might be your last first date. Or better yet, your very last first kiss.
Not to say every first date ends with a first kiss – they absolutely don’t. And I’m not saying I expect this one to end with one. It completely depends on the people and the date. (And as an aside, if this post is being read by the gentleman I have this date with…ummm…“Hi! Nothing to see here…move along.” Awkward…hmmm…perhaps I’ll wait to actually post this until later…MUCH later…) But when you go out with someone, there is always the thought – before or during the date – of will there be a kiss? And if so, what kind? It’s an amazingly sweet kind of anticipation. Arguing with yourself, do I want one? Will he? What if he wants one and I don’t? (Been there, done that!) What if I want one and he doesn’t? Do I eat garlic and onions? (That one’s easy - NO!!!!)
It’s a fascinating concept, addressed in one of my favorite dating movies Hitch. I may have talked about it before, but if not, see the movie.
The truth of the matter is that you never know what date will be your last first date, you never know what kiss will be your last first kiss. I would imagine most of you who are married didn’t expect the first date you went on with your spouse to be the last First Date. Every date could be The One, or could be another life lesson, or something in between. It’s the anticipation that adds to the excitement of the unknown.
It’s also what makes it positively terrifying.
It’s also what makes life worth living.