A writer without words.
That’s been me.
I’ve spent the last week trying to figure out how to post about the events going on in this country, and unable to find the words. Like so many of us, I’ve just not known what to say.
What do you say to black men you know and love who are in fear for their very lives?
What do you say to your children, some of whom don’t understand, others who think it doesn’t involve them?
What do you say to yourself when you can’t sleep at night from worry, fear, and frustration?
The answer is I don’t know. Hence my silence.
Then today, I was reading a post on a local blog about some vandalism that occurred. The post was about how someone set fire to a Little Free Library. If you aren’t familiar with the concept, it’s where someone builds a structure, a bit larger than a bird house, and places books inside. People are welcome to come and borrow a book or lend a book. It’s a communal method of sharing literature. It’s lovely and charming.
So why would someone feel the need to burn it down?
Well, in the comments, one person made the statement “It really feels like the entire country is on the verge of coming unhinged.” My instant reaction was there are no hinges. They’re gone. The commenter went on to say “I have very uneasy feelings, not just for DC but all the U.S. Actions like this only further my assertion that there’s some seriously bad juju out there.”
Dearest anonymous commenter, you hit the nail on the head and gave me words – for that I think you.
I don’t know why this comment has fueled my fingers, but here I go.
I do not know if this commenter is black, white, blue, green, or red. Male or female? Local or lives elsewhere? No clue.
It doesn’t matter either.
“Uneasy feelings” are what so many of us have right now.
This country is a powder keg and I believe the fuse has been lit. The explosion is inevitable. The explosion is beginning.
And is scares the shit out of me.
I’m afraid for the future. For my children. For my family. For my friends.
I’m afraid of what evil has really caused all of this – it’s not new, it’s also not organic. I firmly believe there is something greater at work here, and the not knowing what it is is the scariest part of it all.
The fact of the matter is that I, like so many, feel hopeless and helpless. I don’t have the answers. I don’t know what to do or how to do it.
But here is what I do know:
How to love.
Seriously, it’s the only thing I know. It’s the only thing I can believe in and hold onto right now.
I love people.
Pretty much all people.
And all I can do in the face of fear, anger, and hatred is to show that love.
To try to be understanding of the pain on all sides, and not to cause any myself.
I shed tears for every life that has been lost, and those that are likely to be lost.
I can offer condolences and hugs.
I can open myself to conversation with those who are confused.
I can love.
There have been so many posts about Black Lives Matter vs All Lives Matter vs Blue Lives Matter, and I’m not going to go into it in THIS post (stay tuned, I’ll probably get to those topics shortly). I will simply say this – our lives are short enough as it is. How about we stop making them shorter?