There are days I think I am becoming an expert on First Dates. Then there are days I think I will never get used to them. Today is somewhere in between the two. I am a member of several on-line dating websites—let’s be honest, without them I’d never have First Dates, or any dates, because my social life is work-school-home, and I think my mail man is married, so not a whole lot of eligible bachelors in my everyday travels. The on-line arena is really made for people like me, unfortunately there isn’t any good kind of filter between people who are truly looking for long-term relationships vs. hook-ups. So in the last few years, I’ve had too many First Dates, a handful of second dates, and nothing beyond that.
Tomorrow morning I have a First Date. Except I’m loathe to actually call it a date…more of a “meet and greet”. Being completely honest, I’m not terribly excited about this one, but it’s been a while since I’ve had one and I’ve been told by my brutally-honest assistant (who I will not name here yet because I’m not sure if she likes limelight like my friend KAT or if she would object) that I’m being persnickety. She’s right. I am.
It’s an interesting problem with on-line dating…you are deciding if you are interested in someone based on pictures (which could be old or doctored) and words (that may have been written by them or someone else, and you have no way of knowing if they’re true). It is a true leap of faith. Now, you can make the argument that all First Dates, even if it’s someone you met somewhere, are a leap of faith. And you would be correct to some extent. But I’m a firm believer in instincts, and it’s easier to get a read on someone you’ve met in person than an on-line personality.
I know this from experience. I have met guys on-line who seemed fantastic—I mean I could actually see myself considering marriage again. Then we met in person and between the gold in their mouth and the “Hey baby” on their lips I had to stop myself from pulling a knife. Then there were others who on-line just didn’t really “do” it for me, but we met in person and I thought “Hmmm…he could actually have something.” There just isn’t a good way to tell. It actually ticks me off because my on-line profile is 100% me. There isn’t a bit of dishonesty in it. In fact my “headline” states: The only games I’m playing involve cards. (And by the way, I’m looking for a new group to play spades with…anyone???) So as someone who is totally honest, the shadiness of most profiles irks me.
But I know there isn’t anything I can do about other people’s honesty. So another First Date is looming. I am going with an open mind, and willing heart….
OK, fine, I’m going with a semi-open mind with the promise of a movie afterwards with my friend-who-I’m-not-naming because she’s becoming a publicity slut. (You know who you are and let me point out that my Conversations are not the best publicity…)
Maybe this one will be the love of my life. Maybe he won’t. Either way, I will find a way to enjoy the day because if you’re not having fun, what’s the point?