Constant Change vs Devastating Depression
The only thing in life that truly is certain is change. It is going to occur whether we like it or not. Some people thrive on change, others are dismayed by it. Regardless of how you handle it, it will still come, so best handle it well.
As I've spoken before, I struggle with depression. I was reminded of the depth and levels of my struggle when I logged on to pen this post and came across my post called An Unmade Bed - written during a bad spell. Writing about my feelings has always come naturally, but I've realized only when I've made it past a certain point in the depressive episode.
At the moment, I'm experiencing drastic changes in MANY areas of my life, some of which I saw coming, some of which I was blindsided by. Some I'm excited about, some I'm devastated by. Some I chose, some were chosen by others. It seems that the change is continuous, constant, ever-present, and THAT can be problematic for someone who also battles depression.
Today I made my bed, but getting dressed was a challenge. When I work in my office, it's compulsory. When I work from home like today, it could be considered optional. Except I know that my lack of desire to move and get dressed stems from the depression I'm doing battle with right now. And I know it is a super slippery slope - if I give in to the lack of desire to dress, I will likely give in to a number of unhealthy activities for the rest of the day. I have to take routine, simple tasks one step at a time, the whole time feeling the weight of a 50-pound blanket draped over my body (figuratively, not literally - I'd be an idiot to walk around with a 50-pound blanket on me trying to get stuff done).
For those who have never had to fight this particular fight, your friends and loved ones who struggle are grateful you don't truly KNOW their pain, but would appreciate your understanding about its impact. That's what I feel compelled to share this morning.
The source of depression is not always obvious - it is sometimes situational, other times chemical and surprises us as much as it does anyone else.
We aren't looking for our loved ones to "fix" what's wrong - unless you happen to be a licensed mental-health practitioner who is also treating us
We ARE looking for more of a "How can I help?" stance
Let us guide you on the help we need
Don't be offended if we aren't looking for your specific help - it's truly not YOU, it's me
Help can come in many forms, including wrapping me in a burrito blanket and just sitting with me in silence - it's not always active
Check-ins matter
As a side note, not all depressed people are suicidal, but depression can lead to suicidal thoughts. There is nothing wrong with asking a depressed person if they're having those thoughts. If you are willing to have a real, open, honest conversation with someone about that, without judging them for it, the conversation alone can help. If you don't feel equipped to have the full conversation, simply asking the question can guide you to get them help they may desperately need.
Change is constant. Handling it involves choices. Braving change while fighting depression requires you to be a bad-ass warrior. I just gotta find my armor, sword, and shield.
