I’ve never really been one to keep my opinions to myself, but I’ve also never been someone who goes out and protests or demonstrates. I’m more of the work-in-the background, let’s see how to really accomplish change kind of person. There is a phrase I’m fond of throwing out to people—Concurrence By Silence. It simply means agreeing with what is going on around you by doing nothing more than being silent about it. Silence is easy. Speaking Out is hard.
Like everything else I try to do, however, I believe Speaking Out should be done with purpose and forethought. Too often people allow themselves to be caught up in the passions and energy of a moment to really think about what they’re saying or doing, or what the long-term repercussions are. So often a situation can be made worse simply because people are acting with their hearts rather than their head.
The reverse can also be true. There are certain circumstance under which emotion needs to play a part in what is going on. There comes a point where it is critical to the success or failure of an endeavor for the people involved to know how impassioned you are about it.
As you know, I write about what I feel and what is going on in my life in any given moment. Earlier this week I wrote on Change and how difficult it can be. I did so after spending the past two weeks attempting to remain calm and be a productive participant in a dramatic change. In other words, I’ve been wearing my big-girl panties. I tried to put my emotions in check, encourage others to do so as well, and focus on what the outcome we were striving for really was. There are those in my inner circle who saw me in my moments of weakness that involved much swearing, ranting and raving (Mom, thank you for listening and not trying to talk sense to the crazy woman in those moments). But my public face was one of careful consideration.
Last night that changed. I reached a point in our endeavors where I felt as though the calm, cool, collected LD was no longer working, and quite frankly that I had nothing left to lose. So the emotions came out. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t raw emotion. The emotion was there, no doubt about that. But I think because I’d been spending SO much time verbalizing exactly what it was I was angry/upset/distressed about, when the switch was flipped, what came out were the same concepts I’d already laid out, just with a thick layer of passion coating it. I was still coherent, still explained my perspective, but the gloves were off, and my feelings were evident. To quote one of the involved parties, I was definitely “hot”, but the message was received.
The result? Not sure yet what it will mean in the long-term. But in the short term I feel good. I am confident that I pursued every option I could as calmly as I could BEFORE unleashing my heart. As a result, despite an evening of angry tears—and I do loathe the fact that when I get REALLY angry I cry—I actually slept decently last night, and feel confident I did the right thing this morning.
The lesson? Use your voice, but use it wisely. Look towards the long-term goal, not the short term feelings. But when all else fails, summon your courage, unlock your heart and scream.