There are 6,000,000 memes and platitudes that exist about letting go of anger, allowing God to handle those who have wronged you, or my favorite:
When something has been said to death like those phrases, they can lose their meaning, which is when you have to dig deep and try to really digest why they’re so popular.
Talking (still) about my recent breakup, I’ve been somewhat surprised at the anger. Not my anger, but that of pretty much EVERYONE around me.
See, I was blessed with complete closure on the relationship. I got to say EVERYTHING I wanted to say, and it was SUCH a relief. Then I drank a bottle of wine with a friend, and my closure was complete. I was ready to move up and move on! It was liberating!
But no one else who loves me got that.
We don’t often think about how things that impact our lives also impact the lives of those who love us. In this case, there are so many people who love me, watched me get hurt, and felt helpless. These loved ones wanted to seek vengeance on my behalf! They would avenge my honor no matter what!!
And many of them had to be talked down off of the proverbial ledge.
No, Button, we will not resort to physical violence. No, Calypso, you may not take all of the trash and things he forgot and deliver it personally to his new girlfriend’s place of employment. No, Lamar, you may not do…ANY of the things you’re thinking about doing.
Seriously, it’s not worth the jail time or bad karma people!
But the realization I had today during a conversation with another friend who is just ANGRY is that none of these amazing people I know have had the joy of closure like I have.
So what about them?
Unfortunately, they are in a position that we often find ourselves in during this life adventure of having anger without being able to diffuse it. I mean, sure, they COULD do anything they want to make themselves feel better, except would it really?
I’ve told them (even today) to let go and let God handle it. But the reality is that is easier said than done. When you are looking at someone you thought you knew and realize you don’t know them at all, or when a person hurt someone you love, or any one of a dozen scenarios, you want justice – you want to direct your anger somewhere, but oftentimes there just isn’t anywhere to send it.
And that sucks.
BUT the thing is that those platitudes and memes and corny sayings exist for a reason. The best thing you can do for yourself in those situations is find a way to release it. If it means making sure that you have zero reminders of that person/situation, do that. If you have to make a voodoo doll of them and torture it, do that. If you have to gather together all the other people who feel like you do and have a roast (figurative) of that person, do that. Find some outlet for your anger, release it, and move on.
Is this easy? Not usually. But at the end of the day, you’ll be better off if you can find a way to block those negative people and negative feelings from your life.
Otherwise, the dark side wins…